3 days — I move to Philadelphia in 3 days. It’s simply not enough time.
I’m really glad I got to reconnect with people in these past few days, in person and over text: a few people from ASB; “pancake” + a close friend from middle school whom I never expected to reconnect with again; my gov unit and other gov friends; a friend from a summer program (WHO IS GOING TO CAL LIKE ALL OF MY OTHER FRIENDS :’’) I’M SO PROUD); and last but not least, my “core” friends who’ve been by my side since the beginning of high school. With all that being said, I’m going to miss them all. I’ll miss Will’s unparalleled stories and really deep talks with Albert. I’ll miss Anusha’s TikTok craze/general craziness, Jennifer’s quirkiness, and Ivy’s literal unmatched energy. I’ll miss Nathan’s rants about school stress and Ethan’s chill personality and current Pokemon obsession. Most of all, I’ll miss Stephen. Sure, we had our share of arguments recently, but the thought of being across the country from him is still unbearable. Heart-wrenching, even. I’ll miss the walks, the wintermelon tea. The comforting thought that he is just a few blocks away. I’ll miss the jokes- even the ones that I’ve heard for seven months. I’ll miss his “scent” — especially the smell of his new laundry detergent. I’ll miss his thumb cracks and seeing him crack his neck in three ways. I’ll miss resting in his comfortable arms. I’ll miss feeling safe. I’ll miss feeling content.
I look to the future and I only see mountains: academic mountains, social mountains, a long-distance relationship mountain. Not to mention, pretty soon, my life will start FOR REAL. I have to look for a job. I have to excel in my classes. The wild-ish thing about it all is that no one is telling me what I have to do. I am telling myself.
From whence shall my help come from? I guess we’ll have to see.